A decade after Michael Sam, there is currently not a single publicly out player in the NFL
Thoughts on that fateful February day a decade ago, and a radical proposal to facilitate true equality of opportunity in men's team sports
Ten years ago today, on February 8, 2014, I was at a birthday dinner with my parents with a stye in my eye and my brain racing 100 miles a minute. While I should have been enjoying the four-Yelp-starred-Italian-food at Coal House Pizza in Greenwich, CT1, my mind was wholly preoccupied with the buzz swirling and vibrations flitting on the iPhone 4S sitting in my pocket.
Rumors were swarming that, for the first time ever, an NFL player was about to come out of the closet. Or, more sinisterly, be outed.
The player in question, Michael Sam, was a unanimous All-American, first team All-SEC, and led his conference in sacks and tackles for loss in 2013. Sam was productive enough to earn SEC Defensive Player of the Year honors along with current New York Jet CJ Mosley. He was a team captain, beloved by his fellow players, and adored by coaches and fans alike.
And yes, he was gay.
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I first heard about Michael Sam the summer before his senior year of college. Sam, who had come out in a practice to his team around that time, was rightly not hiding himself on the Columbia campus. The bubble burst at some point and word started to get around, first on message boards, then in sports circles. This was back in my more shoe-leather investigative reporting days, when I followed the yellow brick road for quite a number of (surprisingly, many SEC-related) capers: we were in the Bobby Petrino motorcycle and Robert Nkemdiche destroying a hotel room era, after all.2 I saw the rumor and did some cursory confirmations, shooting a simple question to a friend who was studying at the University of Missouri at the time: was it true?
He responded. Yeah. Cool, right?
Michael Sam was, in many regards, exactly what the NFL needed in terms of a gay ambassador. He was talented, charismatic, and well-liked by his teammates. In theory, he should check all the boxes for someone to break a glass ceiling - and, in the early 2010s, it felt like that final nudge was the only element necessary needed to make that fateful break. He could be the Jackie Robinson that so many young sports fans could look to as a role model, showing that no matter who you love, you could succeed as a pro athlete.
It was crucial, though, that Sam could come out on his own terms. Getting outed is a fear for ANY gay person, and it was something that had happened to other NFL hopefuls in the past, spooking and dissuading them from taking that next step to the pro level as a result. Jackie Walker and Dorien Bryant come to mind as two examples. For this radical plan to work, Sam had to control his own destiny.
And so we return to 23-year-old Ethan sitting in this Italian restaurant, where I was quite honestly too preoccupied and in pain to really do anything other than squint at my phone.
After returning home that night and panicking in my childhood bedroom, I sent a note to Wade Davis, the director (at the time) of the You Can Play movement, an organization meant to provide allyship and support for gay movements and gay athletes in sports. I had met Wade once at a book signing, got his email address, and had some back and forths with him on social media. On that night, February 8, 2014 at 9:08 PM EST, I sent him something.
I’ve never shared this email with anyone, but it’s been a decade. The statute of limitations is up. As you read it, please be kind to this 20-something kid just trying to do the right thing in a situation that, for him, felt parasocially dire.
SUBJECT: Michael Sam - situation + potential ways to help situation
Hi Wade,
I hope all is well!
Earlier tonight, [REPORTER NAME REDACTED - suffice it to say, this is still someone who is very relevant and, credit to him, he did well by Michael Sam in this situation] Tweeted "Some stories just aren't ours to break. I truly hope everyone understands this." [REDACTED] is someone who I've corresponded with in the past, so I DMed him to inquire further. He told me that The Missourian contacted him regarding a comment on a story they plan to run in the next week that will effectively out NFL Draft prospect and First Team All American Michael Sam. They apparently have found an ex of his to speak on the record, and it will be published in the next week. [REDACTED], to his credit, did not give a comment.
Full-disclosure, I have known that Sam was out on campus and in the Missouri locker room for a while due to friends down at Mizzou - I figured that he would come out publicly at his own pace. This was how I was able to corroborate REDACTED's information. You probably already know about more of the details than me, and I don't really need to know any of them to be honest - I just feel like this is a massive opportunity and I really hope that YCP can do something about it. Outing someone without their consent is despicable behavior, but it seems like unless the reporter has a massive change of conscience, Sam is going to be outed - so hopefully YCP can do something to either pre-empt the story, control the message, or keep it from happening.
Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help - I have dealt with these situations before, both as a journalist and on the damage control side of the aisle. I will do whatever you need.
Sam's agent is [REDACTED]. I can probably do some more detective work if you need it. Please just let me know if you need any help. Hopefully, this situation can come to a resolution. And, who knows, maybe something incredible could happen.
Best,
Ethan
I pressed send, and immediately started icing my eye (I’m sorry, it hurt so fucking much, I cannot tell you, I still think about the pain sometimes in weaker moments).
A few hours later, I had a response in my inbox from Wade, basically saying that they were aware of the situation and were on top of it.
The next day, February 9, 2014, Sam came out on ESPN. He had wrestled back his narrative.
I honestly do not want to dwell too much on the aftermath of Sam’s individual journey to the NFL, as it has been picked apart to the bone by vultures and I am no mere condor. I attended the draft at Radio City Music Hall in person when the Rams picked him in 2014 - it was an incredible moment. However, that was all it was - a moment. From there on out, he received some unwise advice from check hunters around him who understood fleeting gay celebrity but NOT football fans, ESPN aired speculation around where Sam’s eyes flicked toward while showering with this teammates3, the relationship he was in spiraled out of control, and his bad Combine gave keyboard warriors and personnel executives alike plausible deniability to neg him and temper fan expectations.4
To Sam’s credit, he had a very good rookie preseason. PFF ranked him a top four defensive end and he got a sack against ex-first round pick Derek Sherrod. However, the Rams cut him prior to Week 1, he spent a year bouncing around practice squads, and then was punted to Canada by a league that, quite simply, had zero intention nor infrastructure to give gay players like him a chance to actually succeed.
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Since 2014, there have been a few gay and bisexual players that have come out in all major men’s sports leagues, including the NFL. Ryan “R.K.” Russell played for a few years and acquitted himself well, notching 21 tackles and three career sacks. Carl Nassib is, perhaps, the greatest success story. He came out in the midst of his career and stuck on multiple rosters in 2021 and 2022, choosing to retire at age 30. However, the volume of openly out players still feels minimal.
This is a pervasive problem in all of men’s team sports, but evidence points to the fact that this issue is an isolated one and not relevant when examined in a wider context. The WNBA, for instance, has an ample amount of out queer athletes - so do the WSL, competitive esports, and the Olympics. LGBTQ+ athletes accounted for 35 medals, including 12 golds, in the 2021 Tokyo Olympics. If queer athletes were a country, they would have been top 10 internationally (I even counted the medals).
This isn’t a talent based problem. I’m not even convinced it’s a locker room or a player problem. I don’t think most millennial or Gen Z athletes care if they have a gay or bisexual teammate at this point, and Sam’s reception at Missouri should prove that. There is a higher volume of out college athletes in major sports, although they rarely play in the Power 5 conferences. I do think that, over time, if we continue at the same pace, there will be a gay athlete every two or three years that emerges in men’s professional team sports. It’s not bad - but it’s not real progress, and it places way too much of an onus on the players to be truly irreplaceable in order to get anything close to a fair shot. The vast majority of front offices and coaches will seemingly always defer to the “non-distracting” player over the gay one. It’s that simple. Drew Magary nailed it in an old-Deadspin classic: distractions are bullshit.
Let’s be honest: these leagues and owners aren’t interested in actually resolving this issue. Sure, teams turn their avatars rainbow on social media for a month per year and, sometimes, leagues even host special events meant to “cater” to LGBTQ+ fans. Heck, GLAAD has hosted “Nights of Pride” at the past three Super Bowls with noted special guests Lance Bass (?), Betty Who (??), and Derrick Barry (????!???), among others.5 But really, why do any of these events actually matter other than providing self-congratulatory pats on the back for attendees? How are they meaningfully moving the needle to enable opportunities for gay athletes to actually have a fair chance at making a roster?
It’s time to take the blinders off and stop holding one of the most powerful organizations in the world to low expectations. We see what the NFL does when they actually want to empower populations with talent and potential.
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In 2004, the NFL began an initiative called the International Development Practice Squad Program. Eventually, in 2017, the naming convention was updated to the International Pathway Program (IPP). This program was created to ensure that non-American athletes with potential could have a shot at reaching their NFL dreams.
Since its inception, the IPP has unearthed consistent contributors such as stud tackle Jordan Mailata and beastly fullback Jakob Johnson. Players like these two were given time to develop on NFL rosters through a player exception initiated by the league - IPP players do not count against the 53 man roster OR the 90 man preseason roster for their rookie year. This is by design - it gives these players a leg up as they develop and adjust to the incredibly difficult strictures of the NFL, exempting them from looming player cuts.
The IPP is a work in progress, but it should be noted that of the 40 players selected for the program to date, only 4 (Mailata, Johnson, Efe Obada, Sammis Reyes) have played more than 5 NFL regular season games. That’s merely a 10% success rate, and yet the program is still ongoing. Not every player in the program is going to make it in the league, and the NFL is fine with that - they can throw volume at the problem knowing that if even one player hits, it’s a net good to make the sport more accessible to international audiences. Additionally, once international players make it in the NFL, they will serve as role models, further growing the talent pipelines in these countries and bolstering the pool of athletes from which they can draw for future programs. The league is playing the long game, shrewdly.
The NFL should create an IPP-style program for gay and bisexual athletes.
It’s a radical proposal, to be sure. However, out players are held to an impossible standard - they must hit at a 100% success rate with unimpeachable results in a sport that incentivizes disposability from a cap AND a distraction standpoint. Making actual social progress in the NFL is an impossible task under the current structure. International players are given leeway to learn, grow, and find their footing in a way gay and lesbian players are not. Lessening the pressure on those pioneer players, and providing them with institutional backing that grants them a fighting chance to find their footing in the NFL, will help to ameliorate that issue.
Do I think that this will ever happen? Probably not. I don’t think anyone within the NFL has the intention, the political will, nor the stomach to actually enact an initiative like this. People will claim to advocate for structural changes but make up strawmanning, hypothetical excuses to prevent the actual progress from being made - or just stall out until people forget and move on with their lives. It’s what is at the core of many milquetoast corporate allyship programs - change a social media avatar and throw a check at something instead of actually doing the deep, frank work to enact changes that would convey the message purportedly supported by the organization.6 Passive support is no longer enough - action must be taken.
It won’t be, but it must be.
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If I could go back in time and tell 2014 Ethan that a decade later the situation in professional sports leagues was relatively the same, I think that he would be disappointed. There are positive changes, for sure, but they are generally minor in the grand scheme of things. Press, fans, and staff pat themselves on the back for doing the bare minimum. It’s disappointing that there aren’t five, ten, twenty, or even fifty out players in the NFL. We should be further along by now.
That being said, I’m still optimistic. Tides are turning and generations are changing. A decade from now, I think things will be different whether the NFL likes it or not. We are only six years removed from the presumptive NFL MVP being pushed by the media to transition to wide receiver due to idiotic pre-conceived notions. Now, it feels like that conversation is significantly less conceivable7. The NFL has made progress in terms of developing minority front office talent and international players. It’s time for them to put some intention in actually developing gay players, too.
Hopefully, in 2034, we’ll have made some more progress. Or, ideally, this topic is so trite that we can move past it and onto more important things. I’m skeptical. But in a world where Mr. Irrelevant can start a Super Bowl game, I want to believe in the improbable.
I believe I had gnocchi (which I also had for my birthday dinner in 2024 because gnocchi is perpetually delicious) but I honestly cannot remember. There are no pictures I can find from this night because my eye was so swollen I could not stare into flash photography without blinking.
I remember being in a radio station between shifts and chatting with current Denver area radio host Benjamin Allbright while frantically Googling about one-way streets and highways in Fayetteville, Arkansas when we were trying to suss out what the fuck Petrino was doing that fateful day. The answer was Jessica Dorrell.
The fact that this coverage was greenlit by ESPN is reprehensible in hindsight if we’re being honest. I’d love to hear Josina Anderson’s side of the story on why this element of Sam’s camp experience was newsworthy. Was Marshall Henderson the executive producer? I want to know who was responsible.
To be fair to Sam, he probably should have been allowed more of a reprieve for his Combine given how out of control his life was over that week. Players who have timed worse received more lenience from scouts, GMs, and media due to extenuating circumstances.
I want to talk scheme with Betty Who and Derrick Berry. I want to know their thoughts on run fits. I want to know if they have watched a single football game in their entire adult life that they remember. Seriously, unironically, I love Derrick Berry. She’s an incredible drag queen. Betty Who, I can take or leave. If they’re football fans? That’s awesome. As Tatianna would say, though, “we all make choices, but that was a choice.
For what it’s worth, this is something I’ve contended with professionally. It’s hard sometimes! A lot of people get mad at you, complain about you to your supervisor, and may find you annoying to work with! But it’s the right thing to do and if you reinforce your point enough, they finally have to start listening.
In the mid-2010s you know Bill Polian would be on ESPN saying that Jayden Daniels should convert to cornerback.